Wednesday, February 15, 2017

What Do You Do if You Honestly Don't Like Someone? Part 2 Forgiveness?! Seriously?!

Yes.We're going to talk about forgiving others. The ting about forgiveness is you have to identify the problem. You must think about why it is a problem for you as well. For instance, perhaps the person does something that aggravated you in the past. The past is over, you've moved on, but the feeling is still there. The feeling is simply buried Ah...but nightmare of nightmare this person has come and unearth what you buried years ago. Nothing is left now, but the skeleton. However, we are not going to stuff it in a closet. We are going to set our-self free. You can only do that by forgiving. Lets get something straight right now. This is not about religion, this is not a sermon...this is just a tried and true technique. Forgiveness is therapeutic. There is actually "Forgiveness Therapy". According to Dr. Ryan However, there are four points to forgiving someone. I agree on each point, but right now we will start with point "B". We'll get to the rest later

The effective attempts tend to share four common elements.

  • A. Express the emotion  
  • B.  Understand why  

We began by recognising the feeling, and we have expressed the emotion. Now we are going to dig a little deeper. It is incredibly is important to know why we feel the way we do. Look at it like this; if you ate something that turned your stomach you simply wouldn't eat it again. However, if it'd anger, it is possible to find it irresistible. There are people who are inclined to stay in abusive relationships, however only you can say how heavily this weighs on you. As far as abusive relationships there are two main reasons people stay in them.

First, it is financial. It may be a spouse, or it may be your boss. You can be stuck in a job you want to leave for various reasons, the main one is money...maybe medical insurance. So, until you can leave you have to find away to function where you are. I know, its not very pleasant but it's true.

Second, you may think you can change the person. If we are truthful to ourselves, we have to confess that  in every day life, we can only change ourselves. Maya Angelou famously said " “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”  That is true. The only person you can change is yourself. You can't even change your children, they are in training, and that is very different. You do have to write out what makes you so angry about this person. That will take you to the action part.

Here's the action part. I want you to pray. Hold on now! You really have something to believe in. You believe in anger, why not believe in freedom from anger? I don't care what or who you believe in. It can be God on high, or it can be a doorknob. The point is believe in something and pray. This is not a "holy" prayer so to speak. That is, you would not hear it in a house of worship. In this prayer you are going to express your anger to God. That means you are going to pray just what you feel it is okay to spew anger and even say what you want to do to this person. Scream and shout, shake you fist and stomp your feet. Do what ever it takes Shocking right? 

Remember this is not the kind of prayer we have been told about, neither is this God as has been described to you. This is your God and your prayer. It is therapeutic. It will probably take more than one time. Don't worry about being "churchy", just say what it is. Say what you feel like saying, whatever that may be. There is one stipulation though. You must ask for the feeling to be removed. That's the art of forgiveness. Trust me, you are going to feel better. Praying usually is done on your knees. You don't have to do that though. Perhaps it seems submissive. 

Think about this though. Submissive imply's it's a mission. Guess what? Everything is a mission. It can be an ad-mission, a trans-mission, an o-mission, or a sub-mission. Whatever that mission may be you own it. No one can make you submit to anything. If it it is a mission you own it! So, if you want to get on your knees then do it fearlessly. If you will feel better another way do it. It is your mission so you have to complete it yourself. You are in control. I like that to tell you the truth! Keep doing it as long as you need to. All you are doing is expressing you anger, and you are believing in something other that how this person makes you feel.  Ready? Okay lets get started. 

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Pathological Lying is a Symptom of Psychopathy and Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Histrionic Personality Disorders

" "Patholgical lying is a stand-alone disorder as well as a symptom of other disorders such as psychopathy and antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders, but people Who are pathological liars may not possess characteristics of the other disorders. Excessive lying is a common symptom of several disorders"

One problem with this type of disorder is it's like a drug. Look at it like that. Because there is an emotional aspect to pathological lying then hormones are involved. That's what makes it like a drug. As with any drug that is being abused, you begin to need more and more of it to get the original effect. With a pathological liar, if the lie does not cause the needed result, you have to take more. Whatever it is that caused the original effect will be administered with more intensity. The thing about lies is the listener and the liar are both involved. Part of the thrill for the liar is seeing the response of the listener.

For instance, rejection can cause a depressed type of feeling. You will begin to think "why even try?" This is no big deal. Even the grammar school bully knows about the effects of rejection. If you label the person, (nerd) and reject the person enough, it will cause self hate. The rejected kid always longs to sit at the cool kids table but is never allowed. The cool kid (bully to some degree) is charged up by the response of the rejected person. They get their hormonal fix if you will.

However, the cool kid can't get the desired effect if people cease to want to sit at his/her table. That means the tactic must become more intense, the lies must become greater. Who knows? One day that person is lying and rejecting people from a lunch room table, the next thing you know is the lies have become greater and the person is now rejecting people from an entire country....all to get the original effect. The lunch room table, or lunch room counter are no longer enough.

So, lying has physical effects that accompany it. Police have known this forever. The polygraph or lie detector has been around for many, many decades. 'The instrument typically used to conduct polygraph tests consists of a physiological recorder that assesses three indicators of autonomic arousal: heart rate/blood pressure, respiration, and skin conductivity. Most examiners today use computerized recording systems. Rate and depth of respiration are measured by pneumographs wrapped around a subject's chest. Cardiovascular activity is assessed by a blood pressure cuff. Skin conductivity (called the galvanic skin or electrodermal response) is measured through electrodes attached to a subject's fingertips'.

Lie detectors are not always right, but they are right enough to determine changes in the body via the thought or memory of something. On a personal note, I think the thrill is based on getting away with the crime. It's what makes the criminal return to the scene of the crime. They want to do it again, and feel that rush again. For the most part that will not happen. You consider what the result can be.
Okay, I've been talking a lot of yang. The bottom line is knowing how this can affect our lives, and how to strategically survive the expected negativism. Now, the matter being faced can go from losing your home, to losing your native sacred burial grounds. It's a mortgage one day it's a treaty the next. Women fought hard to get out of the kitchen. The got high profile jobs and have been standing tall. Their employers grabbed their hands and enthusiastically shook them in agreement, now it is possible that someone will grab her by the pu _ _y, and enthusiastically do other things.

Perhaps you are someone trying to find refuge from a tyranical dictator in your country. You seek it in a country, with a manipulative leader who is reopening private prisons for legal slavery. There are a myriad of other not so good things. Go figure. In all is needed that we all stand up and fight. Do you lift your hand and shout power to the people! or do you shout Heil Trump? is important. It says to whom you will submit. No doubt you can lift your hands to God and shout, shout shout. What you need to realise when you lift your hand, it signifies the you are ready for action, you are standing for change.

We cannot sit, be abused and not lift our hands at all. We cannot let someone who believes in evil thrive off our life blood, We are not victims be cause we know that all it takes to kill a vampire is to shed light on who they are. Vampires die in the light, but we are empowered by it We are not victims and we will not surrender to darkness. Civil rights cannot be achieved if we do nothing. Shall we sit in darkness and pretend that nothing is happening? Hell no, we wont go for that. We will not be like a battered women who hides behind glasses. We may have taken a few punches...but we will not hide the brutality we have undergone. No glasses, we are going to let the world see. This is the age of social media ... it's a different day. We will not sit and wait for 2 years, we can't wait,

We begin to campaign for those seats right now. We don't wait until their time is up,we start now to get rid of them. We keep going while the world is watching. Let the light in with truth. We cannot get that seat back from Devos, but we can create a new system and we can let the world know why. We can boycott Devos. Going to be tough on those universities who depend on students who come from other countries. We don't have to buy Amway either.There are several other product the are equal or better

Finally, if God is for us, who can be against us? Do you know what an arc is? It's like an arch, like a bended rainbow. The arc of truth will curve in our direction,like Michael. The Arcangel Michael is in every book of God, every faith that exists. Michael allows us to unite. His arc bends toward all of us. Despite our religions. As we prepare to fight ...and we really must do that I want to leave you with a little bit of who Michael is.

'Michael means - "Who is like God", "Like unto God", "Who is like the Divine"
"The first Angel created by God, Michael is the leader of all the Archangels and is in charge of protection, courage, strength, truth and integrity. Michael protects us physically, emotionally and psychically. He also oversees the lightworker's life purpose. His chief function is to rid the earth and its inhabitants of the toxins associated with fear. Michael carries a flaming sword that he uses to cut through etheric cords and protects us from Satan and negative entities. When he's around you may see sparkles or flashes of bright blue or purple light. Call on Michael if you find yourself under psychic attack or if you feel you lack commitment, motivation and dedication to your beliefs, courage, direction, energy, vitality, self-esteem, worthiness. Michael helps us to realize our life's purpose and he's invaluable to lightworkers helping with protection, space clearing and spirit releasement.
'Michael conquered the fallen Angel Satan, was in the Garden of Eden to teach Adam how to farm and care for his family, spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai and in 1950 he was canonized as Saint Michael, "the patron of Police Officers," because he helps with heroic deeds and bravery. Michael also has an incredible knack for fixing electrical and mechanical devices, including computers and automobiles. If your automobile breaks down, call on Michael.
'Michael helps us to follow our truth without compromising our integrity and helps us to find our true natures and to be faithful to who we really are. Other times when you may find Michael helpful is when your job is too demanding with impossible deadlines to reach, when you have an addiction, if you're very ill and suffering from a degenerative disease or terminal illness and when you suffer from nightmares'

What Do You Do if You Honestly Don't Like Someone?

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Recently, I confessed on Face Book that there was a person I did not like. After I posted I immeiately felt awful! Realistically, no one wants to hear about what things are unlike-able. Christians go to church to  pray and hear the gospel, fire and brimstone not so much. Gospel means good news, and it is good news that gives us hope. Good news moves us to feelings of love, and love is a life giving force. Those who love often live longer,

Another factor is involved that has good points as well as bad. That factor is honesty.  I thought it was the right thing to do because I discovered that I truly didn't like a person. It was a sudden awareness that I had not been being honest. In being honest I found that I don't have to say bad things about this person ever again. I don't have to destroy the guy! I honestly do not like him, for me that is truth and it is freeing.

Nevertheless, my honesty is not necessarily freeing for others. Let us assume you gain a couple of pounds. Then I come to you and say, "you look fat". Whereas it may be honest, and whereas it may be true, the statement has no virtue. It is trivial, and even mean spirited. Honestly may not always be the best thing. Remember what mama said?  "If you don't have something good to say don't say ,don't say anything at all" That's very true. My beliefs may not be right for you, but love and kindness is right for us all.

Finally, I want to share some things I've found that are solutions to such feelings. It takes honesty, no matter what, and it takes knowing its all about you. I'm gonna follow Michael Jackson, and  start with the woman in the mirror. All this talk preceded a solution because its important to know we have a huge part in making that change. This is not like taking a pill and forgetting about the problem. It's up to us to try. Let's try the  following points. We can take a week on each point, with happy places in between. 

1. Recognise that it is not likely that we will like everyone, nor will everyone like us.

I think of what peer pressure was like. The thing was to get to sit at the table with the cool kids. Usually, it rarely happened, and if it did, there was always the problem of fitting in. Most (uncool) kids never really liked the cool kids, they only liked the image they represented. Life would have been better if they had been honest, and confessed, that was not the table for them. They didn't like the cool kids and the cool kids didn't like them. I'm talking through the eyes of a nerdy educator. This has gone on for years.

The thing is, the nerdy kids had to not like who they were. That is the reason they sought to sit with another group. What if they had recognised their own qualities, and built upon whom they were? The situation may have been in reverse. Usually, we like the image. However, we have to start by loving/liking who we are. Once we accept who we are we will understand that everyone will not appreciate us, nor will we appreciate everyone. That is not likely at all!

Upon accepting ourselves, it is easy to respect people even though we don't like them, and they don't like us.It is honest to admit that to yourself. When you are able to admit that you just plain old don't like someone,  you are okay.  You are okay because you have reached a level of honesty most of us will not or cannot admit too. Your life is not dependent upon whether or not you and all people people like each other. That is not logical. You cannot love your neighbour as you love yourself, if you don't first love yourself. So, lets start by finding three things you love about yourself. Don't worry about what anyone thinks.

Remember, what we like about most people is their character. What stings is when they are so opposite to our character, that they become threatening. They challenge who we are. and force us to be stronger. You are also opposite to them as well. It's like cultural clash. Don't worry about it. See it as night and day. Relax, because one cannot exist without the other. The goal is to learn to like yourself more that you dislike that person. More important than no harm. Do not harm the one you dislike, and do not harm yourself. Let's get moving. What are three things that you like about yourself?

You may comment if you like. Together we can discuss some things within each point. 
The cool thing to remember is "Nobody dies from terminal uniqueness"